What would you have done?

[GLOCKENNBOOMER]

Me and my wife went to the park to pick up her son from his dad. He's had him all of spring break and his period of possession ended at 6pm......Anyways he knew we would be there at 6. I get out to holler at my stepson to come on . His dad comes up with a baseball bat in his hand wanting to know why his son can't stay a couple of more hours to play baseball, clearly agitated and pissed off. He has the baseball bat in his hand and is walking up to me trying to start a argument. He gets within 6 feet of me with the bat in his hand. I put my right hand in my pocket and put my hand on my gun, I take a step back and hold my left hand up telling him " You better get the hell away from me with that baseball bat." At that time his wife got in between the two of us and tells her husband to back off. At no time did I ever pull out my pistol, but if anybody saw my body language they knew I had a gun. If he had advanced on me or took a swing it would have been a different story. Anyways we get away from the park and when I got home I called the police to report it. I talked with the desk seargent and told her what happened , she said not to worry about it and that it was good it was reported . What do you guys think?

[Pitmaster]

I think you need to make arrangements to transfer the child at the police station. You are in a no win situation if you and him get into it during an exchange and you are carrying. Besides worse comes to worse and you shoot the guy you are going to have big problems with the law and the kid. If you are going along to protect her its an even better reason to move the exchange to the police station. You will never be looked at as the good guy by the father's family, kid, his mother/your spouse, etc.

If he was just in a bad mood and you possibly over-reacted because you don't like the guy...You might consider being farther away.

Since I don't personally know you or anyone involved in this situation I stand by the above. But there may be information and variables that I'm not aware of to change my position.

[Bogey]

Pitmaster said it pretty well. Find a way to make the exchange where you have someone else that can run "interference".

Sorry to let you down on the pocket/body language thing.

People don't automatically "know" by "body language" whether you have a gun or not. Why wouldn't they believe you had a knife?

I'm afraid us people that carry have this need to project what we know to the sheep of the world. Same thing goes with the "tactical" vest. Every time I have ever worn my shooting vest in public, the only question anyone has ever asked is "where you going fishing?"

[Steel Talon]

No hate here brother.. But you need to think this out....

For only that boys sake you guys need to be civil, cordial and amenable... Dosn't really matter what you two think of each other. Dosn't really matter who was in the right. What matters is that boys well being.

Think of the lifetime mind warp that boy would of had seeing his dad and step-dad dueling it out, more than likely to the extreme...

You both need to get this fixed....

My .02 cents

Peace
Steel Talon:coolgleamA:

[MakeMineaP99]

Bottom line, gun or not, it's best avoid this type of situation in the first place. Find a third party to oversee exchanges, as the Pitmaster stated.

You did well today. You were ready to react if needed. The gun should never have cleared leather, which it didn't. It was ready to clear leather if needed.

[Nature Boy]

You have already got the good advice so no help there but you need to check the carry laws in your state and see if it says you can carry in a park.

[lcarreau]

I am thinking the guy was bluffing. No way he was going to hit you with a bat in front of his kid and ex wife. I agree with the other folks in this thread with regards to transfer arrangements though.

-Lonnie

[freakshow10mm]

Some people these days, I wouldn't put it past them.

[MullahElRon]

Poison? No... got to escalate, so's the kid learns restraint. Mace, then tasin', then poison, then shootin'.

[ept000]

Sounds like you and your wife may have a good argument for getting full custody of the kid. No court is going to side with a guy that postures with a bat.

[Anvil]

I think it's nothing. He wanted more time with the kid. Okay, he had a bat but he also was wanting to play ball with the kid or do you really believe the baseball practice was a ruse? Do you think he intentionally had the bat to intimidate you? Clearly that worked.


My oppinion. Tell him they can play ball next time they are together but now you're there to pick the child up. Offer to buy the kid a baseball mit if he doesn't have one and smile to the father (Believe me the father is upset about all this too and talking to someone about it just like you are).

Unless he actually THREATENS you with the bat then no crime has occured. I know you were the one there and you feel like you were in danger but alot of that is just your emotions and fear getting in the way.

Remember to ask yourself this question: If I shot RIGHT NOW how would it look in court? What if there was an impartial witness standing 50 yards away who couldn't hear our exchange, only saw the event? How would they testify?

We live in the real world where people can go to prison for over reacting and go to the grave for under reacting.

It's a tough situation but there's one thing I know it's how to deal with angry people (I'm a cop.) You don't want to escallate a situation with an angry parent over a child. No matter what they always BELIEVE they have the moral high ground and they think that high ground justifies any action they take. The best you can do is talk to him pleasantly as though he's NOT a threat. That's the best way to diffuse that situation.

+1 to the exchange happening at a police station but it's easy for him to call and say, "I'm at the BurgerKing or ... we're gonna be at the park, pick him up there. Reasoning with angry people doesn't make them reasonable. Reasoning with angry people is always a negotiation, (until there's force).

[thorn]

As a divorced father (who's also dating a divorced mother, each of us having to share kids with the ex-spouse) I can understand the stress of the scenario you were in. But, I completely agree with Anvil's advice. In theory, you're going to have to interact with these people for years and years... find some way to get things done with everyone being cordial.

Even if that means walking away at some point and giving the other parent another hour or two - let the courts/police/etc sort that kind of thing out. The price of escalating violence in a family dispute such as this - even if you were completely in the right - is just too high, compared to the alternatives.

thorn

[GLOCKENNBOOMER]

Thanks for the advice. It's all good advice. I have thought about my step son and what it would do to him if me and his dad got into it. I wish it hadn't happened, but at the same time I am not going to let him come up on me with a baseball bat in his hand trying to pick a fight. We have a court date coming up and my wife is setting up the third party exchange . It just that everytime we get around that guy he tries to pick a fight.

[slowride]

Sounds like a good plan.

[mbradst]

Shoulda shot him in the kneecap. JK

[fredj338]

Being a divorced dad I'll give you some good advice. It's your wifes son, let her deal with these things. You are intruding on this guys turf. If he's a decent dad, stay out of the way in situations like this. FWIW, he'd have to be swinging that bat at me before I started going for the gun or even giving the warning shout out. I'll give up a broken arm before I justify a shooting, especially my step son's dad.:frown2: